Favourite Toys when I was a kid

1. Star Wars action figures and vehicles
2. The Six Million Dollar Man (and his enemy, Maskatron)
3. Action Man figures and vehicles
4. Tin Can Alley
5. The Lone Ranger and Butch Cassidy
6. Evil Knieval stunt cycle
7. Etch-a-sketch
8. Mastermind
9. Fuzzy Felt
10. Stretch Armstrong
11. Richochet
12. Toy soldiers
13. Something where you made clay statues and painted them
14. Nookie Bear
15. Chemistry set
16. Matchbox cars (especially James Bond's Austin Martin, Starsky and Hutch's and Kojak's)
17. Fisher Price toy garage
18. Busy bodies
19. Battleship (electronic)
20. Weebles
21. Doctor Who TARDIS
22. Spirograph
23. Farm set
24. Sooty and Sweep glove puppets
25. Chocolate vending machine

Film Soundtrack Albums

1. The Commitments
2. The Blues Brothers
3. Fever Pitch
4. Pulp Fiction
5. I'm Not There
6. Inside Llewyn Davies
7. The Big Lebowski
8. Grease
9. O Brother Where Art Thou?
10. Elizabethtown

Sit-coms

1. I'm Alan Partridge
2. Phoenix Nights
3. Father Ted
4. The IT Crowd
5. The Thick of It
6. The Young Ones
7. Porridge
8. Curb your Enthusiasm
9. Steptoe and Son
10. The Mighty Boosh
11. Soap
12. Cheers
13. Happy Days
14. Blackadder
15. Dad's Army
16. Dinner Ladies
17. Only Fools and Horses
18. Open all Hours
19. One Foot in the Grave
20. On the Buses
21. Please Sir!
22. Friends
23. George and Mildred
24. The Good Life
25. The Likely Lads
26. Rising Damp
27. It Ain't Half Hot Mum
28. The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin

Top 20 Fantastic Five Year Periods for Bands /Artists

1. The Beatles 1965-69 (Help, Rubber Soul, Revolver, Sgt Pepper's, White Album, Abbey Road)
2. Bob Dylan 1963-66 (Freewheelin', Times they are a-changin', Another Side of, Bringing it all Back Home, Highway 61 Revisited, Blonde on Blonde)
3. I am Kloot 2001-05 (Natural History, I am Kloot, Gods and Monsters)
4. David Bowie 1970-4 (The Man who sold the world, Hunky Dory, Ziggy Stardust, Pin Ups, Aladdin Sane, Diamond Dogs)
5. Madness 1979-84 (One Step Beyond, Absolutely, Seven, Rise and Fall, Keep Moving)
6. Led Zeppelin 1969-73 (I, II, III, IV, House of the Holy)
7. The Doors 1967-71 (their entire career - all 6 albums)
8. The Rolling Stones 1968-72 (Beggar's Banquet, Let it Bleed, Sticky Fingers, Exile on Main Street)
9. Neil Young 1972-75 (Harvest, On the Beach, Tonight's the Night, Zuma)
10. Blondie 1976-80 (Blondie, Plastic Letters, Parallel Lines, Eat to the Beat, Autoamerican)
11. The Smiths 1984-87 (their entire career - all 4 studio albums and main compilations)
12. Pink Floyd 1973-77 (Dark Side of the Moon, Wish you were here, Animals)
13. Bruce Springsteen 1973-75 (Greetings from Asbury Park, The Wild the innocent and the E St shuffle, Born to Run)
14. REM 1984-88 (Reckoning, Fables of the Reconstruction, Life's Rich Pageant, Document, Green)
15. Jethro Tull 1968-71 (This Was, Stand Up, Benefit, Aqualung)
16. Kate Bush 1978-82 (The Kick Inside, Lionheart, Never for Ever, The Dreaming)
17. Simon and Garfunkel 1966-70 (Sounds of Silence, Parsely Sage Rosemary and Thyme, Bookends, Bridge over Troubled Water)
18. The Decemberists 2002-06 ( Castaways and Cutouts, Her Majesty, Picaresque, The Crane Wife)
19. The Police 1979-83 (Regatta de Blanc, Zenyatta Mondatta, Ghost in the Machine, Synchronicity)
20. Queen 1973-76 (Queen, Queen II, Sheet Heart Attack, A Night at the Opera, A Day at the Races)

Favourite Novels

1. Birds without Wings - Louis de Bernieres
2. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
3. 1984 - George Orwell
4. Catcher in the Rye - J D Salinger
5. Brighton Rock - Grahame Greene
6. Northern Lights/ The Subtle Knife/ The Amber Spyglass - Phillip Pullman
7. Trinity - Leon Uris
8. Slaughterhouse 5 - Kurt Vonnegut
9. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
10. Dan Leno and the Limehouse Golem - Peter Ackroyd

Most enjoyed gigs

1. I am Kloot (every gig, but especially Islington Academy 22-06-07)
2. Madness (Roundhouse 15-12-19)
3. Pink Floyd (Wembley Stadium 05-08-88)
4. Bob Dylan with Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers (Wembley Arena 17-10-87)
5. The Decemberists (Brixton Academy 21-02-15)
6. Paul McCartney (The O2 23-05-15)
7. James (Brixton Academy 15-10-08)
8. The Waterboys (Oxford Apollo 16-06-89)
9. Madness (support from Ian Dury and Morrissey) (Finsbury Park 08-08-92)
10. Richard Thompson (Croydon 01-07-03)
11. The Rolling Stones (Wembley Stadium 04-07-90)
12. Jimmy Page (Hammersmith Odeon 24-11-88)
13. REM (support from Radiohead, The Cranberries, Sleeper) (Milton Keynes Bowl 30-07-95)
14. David Bowie (Milton Keynes Bowl 04-08-90)
15. Ryan Adams (Cadogan Hall 01-11-11)
16. Robyn Hitchcock (The Betsy Trotwood 17-10-18)
17. Bruce Springsteen (Hyde Park 14-07-12)
18. Blondie (The Roundhouse 03-05-17)
19. Neil Young (Hyde Park 27-06-09)
20. U2 (Wembley Stadium 12-07-87)

Top 50 Beatles Songs

1. For No One
2. While My Guitar Gently Sleeps
3. Don't Let me Down
4. You've Got to Hide your Love Away
5. Help!
6. Things We Said Today
7. In My Life
8. Here, there and Everywhere
9. Nowhere Man
10. Eleanor Rigby
11. Blackbird
12. From Me to You
13. Girl
14. Something
15. We can work it out
16. Paperback Writer
17. Come Together
18. I'm Only Sleeping
19. Ticket to Ride
20. Got to Get You into my Life
21. Yesterday
22. Day Tripper
23. I Feel Fine
24. Old Brown Shoe
25. The Ballad of John  and Yoko
26. A Day in the Life
27. Hey Bulldog
28. A Hard Day's Night
29. Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown)
30. Taxman
31. Golden Slumbers
32. Yer Blues
33. Helter Skelter
34. Strawberry Fields Forever
35. Penny Lane
36. All You Need is Love
37. I am the Walrus
38. Can't Buy Me Love
39. I Want to Tell You
40. If I Needed Someone
41. Dear Prudence
42. Back in the USSR
43. Revolution
44. Get Back
45. Rain
46. Fool on the Hill
47. Drive My Car
48. Eight Days a Week
49. I saw her standing there
50. All My Loving

Top 40 Madness Songs

1. It Must be Love
2. Embarrassment
3. The Sun and the Rain
4. One Better Day
5. Tomorrow's (Just Another Day)
6. Primrose Hill
7. My Girl
8. Shut Up
9. NW5
10. Disappear
11. The Return of the Los Palmas 7
12. Michael Caine
13. On the Town
14. Lovestruck
15. Forever Young
16. Our House
17. Grey Day
18. Night Boat to Cairo
19. The Prince
20. Keep Moving
21. Shadow on the House
22. One Step Beyond
23. Rise and Fall
24. The Liberty of Norton Folgate
25. Victoria Gardens
26. House of Fun
27. Drip Fed Fred
28. Johnny the Horse
29. Razor Blade Alley
30. On the Beat Pete
31. A Town with No Name
32. Crying Shame
33. Believe Me
34. Not Home Today
35. Yesterday's Men
36. (Waiting for) The Ghost Train
37. Uncle Sam
38. Never Knew Your Name
39. Clerkenwell Polka
40. One's Second's Thoughtlessness

Hate List

Behaviour in Public

1. Rushing past others to get on a train first
2. Walking in crowded areas staring at a phone
3. Playing anything loud on a phone instead of using headphones on public transport
4. Littering
5. Spitting
6. Being angry or abusive with people in customer service roles for something they are not at fault for
7. Rudeness to staff in restaurants, especially youngsters
8. Eating and making any sort of noise on public transport
9. Talking loudly on the phone with headphones in, instead of holding the phone to your ear
10. Feet on seats on public transport
11. Putting bags on the seat next to you on trains
12. Stopping in front of train barriers to look for your ticket and holding up a crowd behind you
13. Walking around holding a carton of some form of over-priced, frothy hot drink
14. Chewing gum
15. Whistling a tune

Attitudes/ opinions

1. Prejudice born from religious (or cultural-religious) beliefs
2. That individual rights over-ride responsibilities or duties
3. Being offended on behalf of others
4. Calling for people to be banned for making (what some people think are) offensive remarks (but are not abusive towards anyone)
5. Excusing unnecessary personal insult and rudeness as honest opinion
6. That saying something to someone's face is an attribute
7. Virtue signalling
8. Misapplication of the term 'racist'
9. Castigating all men for the sexism without realising the ironic reverse sexism in such criticism
10. Mocking white middle men aged as Gammons on the assumption that they are racist, without realising the irony of introducing a racial element into that criticism
11. Defending immigration as a default position, because to be slightly critical might seem racist
12. Being willing to criticise or ridicule one culture/ religion/ political group (etc) but claiming it to be wrong to do so for another
13. Belief in cultural relativism
14. An unwillingness to acknowledge that lots of people conform to stereotypes
15. Hand-wringing sentimentality
16. Aggressive social justice activism that demeans others who don't conform to the same opinions

In social interactions

1. Egocentrism in general
2. Specifically.... People who can't wait for you to finish your sentence so they can tell you about themselves and consequently don't listen to you or ask follow-up questions about anything you tell them
3. Interrupting someone talking to change the subject or make an irrelevant comment
4. Looking away constantly when you're talking to them
5. Being addressed as 'Bruv' or 'Geez'
6. Telling you what 'you should do'
7. Use of trite, faux wisdom / cliché truisms / platitudes / pocket philosophy
8. Use of particular vocabulary, fully aware that the audience won't understand it, in a deliberate show of intellectual superiority
9. The '2 shits' habit of responding to something others say with a claim to have done something similar but better (You've had one shit, well I've had two)
10. Claims to be mad/ nutty/ wacky, when clearly the person is a complete dullard
11. Kids who address each other as 'Fam'

Driving

1. Anything aggressive/ bullying
2. Non-disabled people parking in disabled places
3. Tail-gating
4. Under-taking in the wrong lane
5. Speeding
6. People with no children parking in parent-and-child spaces
7. Not bothering to indicate
8. Personalised number plates
9. Cyclists
10. Parking across 2 spaces

Domestic Annoyances

1. Things breaking down or house problems (e.g. leaks, boiler, appliance break down)
2. Untidiness (a) Allowing unwanted clutter to build up
3. Untidiness (b) Allowing wanted clutter to build up instead of putting it away somewhere
4. Food being thrown away (having been bought or cooked and not used before it goes off)
5. Noisy neighbours
6. Dirty dishes/ pans left in the sink instead of on the side
7. Un-emptied shopping bags left in front of cupboard doors in the kitchen
8. TV on too loud
9. People walking mud into the house
10. Clothes left lying around in the lounge
11. Curtains half opened

Most irritating celebrities

1. Diane Abbot
2. Jamie Oliver
3. Alan Davies
4. Danny Dyer
5. Stewart Lee
6. Lewis Hamilton
7. Michael McIntyre
8. Owen Jones
9. Sinead O'Connor
10. Charlie Stayt

Things I hate that most people like or don't mind

1. Dancing
2. Singing
3. Wearing shoes (I always opt for a boot or a trainer)
4. Going to the cinema (unless it is one with tables and sofas, for grown ups)
5. Parties (with few exceptions)
6. Cars
7. Football
8. Tracksuit bottoms
9. Drinking coffee at work

High St Shops

1. Starbucks, Pret or anywhere specialising in over-priced, frothy hot drinks
2. McDonald's
3. Over-priced clothes shops that play loud music
4. Nandos

Places of leisure

1. People who talk at gigs
2. People who hold up their phones (often blocking your view) at gigs to take lots of photos or, even worse, video
3. Allowing someone to serve you in a pub when someone next you was clearly at the bar first
4. People who take photos of interesting things/ views without stopping to actually look at them
5. People who stand in front of you while you look at a painting

Sport-related

• Football tribalism
• Acceptance of cheating as a strategy in football (e.g. inviting contact and falling to the ground to gain a penalty)
• 
  

Music

• Misogynistic / self-promoting/ brash/ arrogant/ aggressive lyrics in rap
• Rap, grime, urban, R n B.... all that sort of shit
• Improvisational Jazz
• Singers who constantly go up and down the scale while singing one word
• Boy bands
• World Music

Social Media

1. Soundbite arguing on Twitter
2. Trolling
3. Caring about unfollowing on Twitter
4. Preaching
5. Posting something copied and pasted for a cause that includes a line like, 'most people won't pass this on, but real friends will'

Regional Accents

1. Scouse 

People in certain professions/ jobs

1. Politicians
2. Estate agents
3. Barmen in cocktail bars who spin/juggle bottle

TV

1. Love Island/ Big Brother style shows, full of thick, egotistical millenials
2. Mrs Brown's Boys
3. Eastenders
4. Most news programmes
5. The Big Question
6. Irrelevant sex scenes in dramas
7. The Politics Show

Smells

1. Salami breath
2. Sour milk
3. Dog shit
4. Garlic breath
5. Whiskey breath
6. Scrumpy

What people wear

1. Bandanas covering half he face
2. Hoodies with hoods up 
3. Tracksuit bottoms (in Chav-grey)
4. Skinny jeans
5. Crocs

Animals

1. Rats
2. Wasps
3. Cats
4. Flies

Top albums based on overall emotional impact

1. I am Kloot - I am Kloot
2. Gold - Ryan Adams
3. Sky at Night - I am Kloot
4. Reading, Writing and Arithmetic - The Sundays
5. Small Town Heroes - Hurray for the Riff Raff
6. Oh Mercy - Bob Dylan
7. The Unforgettable Fire - U2
8. Together Alone - Crowded House
9. Martha Wainwright - Martha Wainwright
10. Look Out Mama - Hurray for the Riff 
11. Cold Roses - Ryan Adams
12. Fisherman's Blues - The Waterboys
13. Clutching at Straws - Marillion
14. Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon and Garfunkel
15. Play Moolah Rouge - I am Kloot
16. Wish you were Here - Pink Floyd
17. Old Kit Bag - Richard Thompson
18. Born to Run - Bruce Springsteen
19. Misplaced Childhood - Marillion
20. The Joshua Tree - U2